A Positive Attitude

 FRIENDSHIP IS NOT FREE; IT MUST BE EARNED! - Dan Anuito

We should try to do these things better: 

1.  Encourage others to talk about themselves. 
2.  Talk in the interest ranges of the things that people treasure most when talking to them. 
3.  Talk to people about themselves and recognize their importance. 
4.  Respect other peopleʼs good judgment and avoid arguments. 
5.  Never tell anyone they are wrong, we all will rationalize to the point of thinking we are 
unequivocally right. 
6.  We should criticize ourselves before other people have a chance to; if you are wrong, 
admit it! 
7.  Tread softly, you will go farther. 
8.  We should try to let our friends feel as though they have excelled us at some time or 
another. 
9.  Let others do a great deal more of the talking. 
10. Figure out why others think as they do; look at it from their viewpoint. 
11. Show compassion toward others (this is yearned for). 
12. Treat people with respect, dignity, honesty, truthfulness and willingness; they will generally emulate those feelings
13. Challenge others to do something better, never force them. 
14.Call attention to mistakes indirectly (donʼt broadcast). 
15. Make difficulties seem easy to conquer. 
16. Praise minutest improvements and inspire hidden treasures in others. 
17. Be friendly. 
18.Force yourself to smile! (You will.) 
19. Consider othersʼ good points. 
20.Make others want to follow your suggestions. 
21. Always appreciate peopleʼs time. 
22.Be interested in everyone you meet. 
23.Always remember: good manners are made up of petty sacrifices. 
24.Remember names; a personʼs name is truly the most treasured phrase to that personʼs 
ears. Use the I.R.A principles to help remember names. 
25.Try saying this three (3) times: “Act enthusiastically and youʼll be enthusiastic.” It works. 
26.Perfect yourself first, then worry about everyone else. 
27.Try to exercise a little sympathy, tolerance and kindness — it goes a lot further than a 
short fuse. 
28.Learn the difference between appreciation and flattery — one is from the heart, the other 
is from the teeth. 
29.Accept the fact that everyone is superior to you in one way or another, and learn from 
that trait. 
30.When not engaged in some definite problem-solving, most people think of themselves 
95% of the time. If we could cut it to 50%, the results would be dramatic. 
31. Why should people be interested in you and me, unless we are first interested in them? 
32.We are all interested in what we want. Be a little different: Be interested in what the other 
person wants and needs. (Get the other personʼs point of view and see things from his 
angle as well as your own. Be interested in helping others, not only yourself.)
33.Try to do things without ulterior motives. 
34.If we do things that require time, energy, unselfishness and thoughtfulness, we will make 
many friends. 
35.The ability to listen is rarer than almost any other trait. (Listen and learn.) 
36.This is an old one: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. We all know 
who wrote that one. 
37.Do unto others as they would have you do unto them. 
38.When dealing with people, use little phrases like, “Iʼm sorry to trouble you…,” “Would you 
be so kind as to…,” “Wonʼt you please…,” “Would you mind…,” “Thank you.” They are the 
hallmark of good breeding. 
39.Be wiser than other people if you can, but do not tell them so. 

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Man's Best Buddy

Let us try writing an article with a phablet and while i and my dog Matchi are in hammock... Everyone needs to feel loved, needed and have something to care for. Lucky are those who live with their loved ones and special someone/s. But for those who are, most of the times, companion-less like me, and those workers living nautical miles away from their family, you've got to have someone to care for, a pet maybe. You know why the boy in the movie Life of Pi not only survived the shipwreck but also kept his sanity? Because he had a not-so-friendly companion - a tiger named Mr. Parker. It is recommended to people living alone to have a pet at home because pets especially dogs are excellent chaperones.

Dogs are known to make great companions everywhere you go, they will follow you with waggly tail. They can be so playful and charming and have the ability to make a hundred faces that will surely boost your mood.

Aside from being excellent buddies, they are also great stress relievers and can make you feel calm in an instant. My dog Matchi used to live with me in my apartment. When i go home in the province, he’s my co-pilot. He always loves long roadtrips

with his window partly open breathing in fresh air. When i pull over and stop to go to the John, he guards the car and instantly it becomes off limits to strangers.. gas pump attendants included.

When we frequent my parents’ place, Matchi became friends with my mom and kidsister. One time during the rainy season, when my apartment was on the verge of welcoming floodwater, i left Matchi in the province. In my absence, my mom later became his second master. While Matchi is under my Mom’s watch, custody and care, I and my siblings noticed something different. My Mom is, more often than before, on a good mood. Truly, coming home to a furry friend after a stressful day at work can be relieving, as dogs bring about positive energy and unconditional love.

Aside from constant companionship, loyalty, and warmth, dogs will never reject a cuddle session with their beloved owner, and if you’re suffering from depression or recovering from a traumatic life crisis, your caring canine will be there to smother you with love and affection.

Dogs are territorial and therefore they are reliable home security guards. With their keen sense of smell, a dog’s nose knows when an unwanted person is approaching. They can also hear at a greater frequency and distance than humans. Clearly, with their acute senses, dogs can detect intruders faster than you can! You will be awakened by their barks shoo-ing away would be trespassers but in return, you will love that Sense of protection.

Having a dog is like teaching yourself how to be a responsible parent. As a matter of fact i tell my "just married" friends to practice on pets first to check on their preparedness to parenting before they start family planning.  Do you remember the film Marley and Me? That's what i am talking about and here are my favorite lines in the movie...

You know, there's nothing like the experience of raising your first dog. Simple joy of walking side by side with your buddy out in the fresh air.. throwin' a stick. Spending some quiet time just you and your very best friend. That’s one great experience.

A dog has no use for fancy cars or big homes or designer clothes. A waterlogged stick will do just fine. A dog doesn't care if you're rich or poor, clever or dull, smart or dumb.

Give 'em your heart and he'll give you his.

How many people can you say that about?

How many people can make you feel rare and pure and special?

How many people can make you feel... extraordinary?

My goal in life is to be as good of a person as my dog already thinks I am.

In addition to what i said that dogs are excellent stress relievers, pets decrease our feelings of loneliness and isolation by providing companionship to all generations. Everyone needs something to care for. Many elderly citizens or people living alone will tell you their pet gives them a reason for living longer and happier.

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kuyanin

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Dating 101

Someone has emailed this to me just now and i believe it is worth sharing so here it is. Im on mobile and im writing this with my tablet so i haven't dug up who authored this just yet. Credits to the original author. 

Date a man who dreams. Date a man who doesn’t spend his money on drink, or clothes, or video games, but saves what he has to go on adventures and pursue his dreams. He might have problems dealing with everyday things but no-one sees the possibilities life holds like he does. This is a man who is ready for anything, who will drop everything on a moment’s notice to run away and get lost somewhere with you or show up unannounced to whisk you away on some crazy adventure. Date a man who sees the world in millions of colours, who has his head in the clouds and his feet on the ground.

Date a man who hasn’t got the money to spoil you or shower you with gifts but finds a way to do it anyway. You can trust that he’ll find a way to touch your heart and make you feel special in new ways. He knows that words and gifts aren’t what matters. Every time he gives you something or writes to you he is giving you a piece of his soul. And every time you give him something or write to him he will truly treasure it and understand the effort you put in to choosing the gift, the words, or even making it yourself.Date a man who sees how amazing you are even if you don’t see it yourself, who sees how good things could be for you. Because a man like this who can see the end goal, the big picture, will keep on going because no obstacle can compare to what lies ahead. 

Date a man who believes in true love, in romance. He will dream up incredible fantasies that the two of you can bring to life together. He will take you places other people can’t even imagine. Date a man who believes in you, because he will help you believe as well. He will see echoes of you in every thing of beauty, and he sees beauty in everything. A man like this will always think you’re the most beautiful girl in the world and will always be there for you.

Date a man who reads books and comics, who watches films and cartoons, who laughs at stupid jokes and knows when to fall into a reverential silence and drink in the moment with you. You can just be yourself with him and he’ll just be himself. He’ll understand why you love the things you do and he’ll appreciate them and be interested in them too, even his own passions lie elsewhere. He understands your whims and desires, because he’s seen them acted out in his mind. And whatever the scenario, no matter how bad things get, he sees how the story ends. And because he sees how it ends, he knows that all tragedies are overcome, all villains vanquished and fears are banished, no matter how desperate the situation may appear. Better still, date a man who writes.

Date a man who can’t be pigeon holed into any one category, who can mingle in any crowd but doesn’t truly fit in any one scene. He’s an individual, a man who knows what it takes to stand out from the crowd and who doesn’t mind being judged or thought of as different. That’s why he will never judge you or make lazy assumptions about you. That’s why he will always see you as your own person, as a unique and wonderful individual.Fail him. Let him down. Hurt him. He’ll do the same to you: but he knows that this is just how things go. He knows that life is made up of ups and downs. He will understand that when you lash out at him or push him away, there are many reasons why. Instead of getting mad or retaliating he’ll try and make things right. He knows when to apologise and admit to making mistakes. He’s also quick to forgive because he knows how easy it is to make mistakes. He understands that your flaws and vulnerabilities make you beautiful and strong.He knows that perfect harmony doesn’t exist and that nothing is forever. He knows that you see this too: he sees beauty and freedom in this and wants to help you see it too. He knows fear and embraces it. He knows sadness. He knows his many flaws. He is prepared to adapt and to change because he respects your values and your opinions. He knows that nobody is perfect but that doesn’t stop him trying to do his best. He knows that love needs to be worked for, that relationships are a constant flow from love and laughter to arguments and conflict, that like all things the good times come with the bad and that the dancing and loving and laughing are worth the fighting. He wants you to be happy even if it means not being with you, but in his heart he believes that he can make you happy like nobody else and so will do anything to be with you.

Date a man who remembers every little thing about you, who is intuitive, who can see when you’re happy or sad, when you need cheering up or when you want to get away from it all or just forget everything for a while. He sees everything about you. He understands that you’ll be a different person from moment to moment, that you’ll change your mind and your mood without warning. He knows that you can switch between being a baller shot caller, a kawaii otaku, an artistic auteur or a femme fatale in the blink of an eye, an that they are all a part of who you are. He loves and pays attention to each and every aspect of your personality, from the girl who needs to be cuddled and cared for to the woman with her own needs and desires.

Date a man who fights to be in your life no matter what. A man who values you and believes he should be with you will only see that you are scared of how much this could mean for both of you. This kind of guy who will always be there for you when the times are tough, who is always looking out for you even when you’re not together or when you cannot see him. Date a man who will always believe you should be together: a man who will never give up on you no matter what. Date a man you’re scared to date, precisely because you cannot think of a reason you should be scared to be with him.Date a man who knows that this isn’t about him, but about you: a man who loves you with his heart and soul. You deserve it.

Date a man who dreams. Who dreams about you.Or better yet, date a man who lives his dreams.

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kuyanin

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Stop Expecting and Start Living

Oh crap. When i'm driving I always get across interesting topics and ideas to write about for this blog. But when i find fine time to sit and write them down, these blog-worthy ideas become so elusive. So today, instead of hearing from me, i am going to share to you one of Marc and Angel's finest articles about life hacking. Visit their site for more powerful Life hacks.

The biggest disappointments in our lives are often the result of misplaced expectations. This is especially true when it comes to our relationships and interactions with others.
Tempering your expectations of other people will greatly reduce unnecessary frustration and suffering, in both your life and theirs, and help you refocus on the things that truly matter. Which means it’s time to…

1.  Stop expecting them to agree with you.

You deserve to be happy.  You deserve to live a life you are excited about.  Don’t let the opinions of others make you forget that.  You are not in this world to live up to the expectations of others, nor should you feel that others are here to live up to yours.  In fact, the more you approve of your own decisions in life, the less approval you need from everyone else. You have to dare to be yourself, and follow you own intuition, however frightening or strange that may feel or prove to be.  Don’t compare yourself to others.  Don’t get discouraged by their progress or success.  Follow your ownpath and stay true to your own purpose.  Success is ultimately about spending your life happily in your own way.

2.  Stop expecting them to respect you more than you respect yourself.

True strength is in the soul and spirit, not in muscles.  It’s about having faith and trust in who you are, and a willingness to act upon it.  Decide this minute to never again beg anyone for the love, respect, and attention that you should be showing yourself.
Today, look at yourself in the mirror and say, “I love you, and from now on I’m going to act like it.”  It’s important to be nice to others, but it’s even more important to be nice to yourself.  When you practice self-love and self-respect, you give yourself the opportunity to be happy.  When you are happy, you become a better friend, a better family member, and a better YOU. 

3.  Stop expecting (and needing) them to like you.

You might feel unwanted and unworthy to one person, but you are priceless to another.  Don’t ever forget your worth.  Spend time with those who value you.  No matter how good you are to people, there will always be one negative person who criticizes you.  Smile, ignore them, and carry on.

In this crazy world that’s trying to make you like everyone else, the toughest battle you’ll ever have to fight is the battle to be yourself.  And as you’re fighting back, not everyone will like you.  Sometimes people will call you names because you’re “different.”  But that’s perfectly OK.  The things that make you different are the things that make YOU, and the right people will love you for it.

4.  Stop expecting them to fit your idea of who they are.

Loving and respecting others means allowing them to be themselves.  When you stop expecting people to be a certain way, you can begin to appreciate THEM.

Pay close attention, and respect people for who they are and not for who you want them to be.  We don’t know most people half as well as we believe we do; and truly knowing someone is a big part of what makes them wonderful.  Every human being is remarkable and beautiful; it just takes a patient set of eyes to see it. 

The more you get to know someone, the more you will be able to look beyond their appearance and see the beauty of who they truly are. 

5.  Stop expecting them to know what you’re thinking.

People can’t read minds.  They will never know how you feel unless you tell them.  Your boss?  Yeah, he doesn’t know you’re hoping for a promotion because you haven’t told him yet.  That cute guy you haven’t talked to because you’re too shy?  Yeah, you guessed it, he hasn’t given you the time of day simply because you haven’t given him the time of day either.

In life, you have to communicate with others regularly and effectively.  And often, you have to open your vocal cords and speak the first words.  You have to tell people what you’re thinking.  It’s as simple as that.

6.  Stop expecting them to suddenly change.

If there’s a specific behavior someone you care about has that you’re hoping disappears over time, it probably won’t.  If you really need them to change something, be honest and put all the cards on the table so this person knows how you feel and what you need them to do.

For the most part though, you can’t change people and you shouldn’t try.  Either you accept who they are or you choose to live without them.  It’s might sound harsh, but it’s not.  When you try to change people, they often remain the same, but when you don’t try to change them – when you support them and allow them the freedom to be as they are – they gradually change in the most beautiful way.  Because what really changes is the way you see them.  

7.  Stop expecting them to be “OK.”

Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle, just like you.  Every smile or sign of strength hides an inner struggle every bit as complex and extraordinary as your own.

Remember that embracing your light doesn’t mean ignoring your dark.  We are measured by our ability to overcome adversities and insecurities, not avoid them.  Supporting, sharing and making contributions to other people is one of life’s greatest rewards.  This happens naturally if we allow it, because we all share very similar dreams, needs and struggles.  Once we accept this, the world then is a place where we can look someone else in the eye and say, “I’m lost and struggling at the moment,” and they can nod and say, “Me too,” and that’s OK.  Because not being “OK” all the time, is perfectly OK.

Afterthoughts

People rarely behave exactly the way you want them to.  Hope for the best, but expect less.  And remember, the magnitude of your happiness will be directly proportional to your thoughts and how you choose to think about things.  Even if a situation or relationship doesn’t work out at all, it’s still worth it if it made you feel something new, and if it taught you something new.

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Do You Need To Be Loved? Or, Love To Be Needed?

Instead of writing about personal rants today, i want to share to you this great article by Ken Fields that i was reading while having a car wash earlier this morning. 

I'm sure you have heard couple's of all ages say to each other "I love you." You would probably like hearing it said to you, if it's not already. Sometimes when one person says "I love you" to another person, the response is "me too." I find that an absurd response. What does it mean? That I love me too? A more appropriate response would be "I love you too" and even that isn't terribly poignant. It's kind of like someone asking "how are you" and you say "fine." It's automatic and somewhat meaningless. If someone significant in your life says to you "I love you" a good response is "to hear you say that makes me feel wonderful" or "I believe you and when I hear you say that I feel so good." 

What makes matters worse is that our culture uses the word "love" extremely loosely. We love that movie and we love that car and we love that restaurant and we love that song and we love that book and we love that place and we love that pair of jeans or that shirt or that dress or those pair of shoes......We're just so filled with love!! And yet we have the arrogance to think that we can actually make love! Love, like money, is not made, it is earned. The only place that makes money is the United States Mint. Everyone else earns it (or steals it which requires some effort, so it's working for it). . 

Our culture is linguistically impoverished when it comes to love. We really only have that one word to convey something which is more than a feeling; love is more like a state of being - as in "being in love." You can tell a spouse that you care for them, trust them, respect them, need them, want them...you could even tell them you would do anything for them, even die for them, and they won't perk up until you say you love them. It's as if the word "love" is a drug and unless we hear that word spoken to us, we continue to crave it. Nothing else will do. Traditionally, there are three types of love: Eros which is erotic love, Phileos which is brotherly love and Agape which is spiritual love. In this modern world, all we have is love. And, although the popular Beatles song "all you need is love" may be true, we need to uplift love from its mundane, overused, misunderstood place in our culture to a recognition of its true stature. 

Too often, when a person says "I love you" what they really want to hear in response is the same thing. They are actually saying "I want to hear you say you love me so I'm going to say I love you." And then you are supposed to say "I love you too." Or, the ridiculous "me too." The phrase "I love you" though, is generally not true. It would be more honest to say "I like you a lot" or "I feel very compatible with you" or "I feel very comfortable with you." However, a much more honest replacement statement for "I love you" is "I need you." Of course, that doesn't go over as well as "I love you." Yet, it's much more truthful. Our need to belong, to be connected, to be intimate is very strong. What we often love in the other person is that they are satisfying a need of ours to be connected to another person. Our need to be connected motivates a great deal of our late adolescent and adult behavior. However, the satisfaction of that need to be connected is not necessarily love. Love is, by definition, unconditional positive acceptance of any person at any time under any condition who might be exhibiting any behavior. And, as a people, we're not very good at that. We may not approve of the behavior; however, to love is to accept the person, without judgment, criticism or complaint. Although we can talk about "tough love" it might be better to call it "tough caring" as love is not tough - or rough. Nor is it bitter sweet. To quote I Corinthians (13:4-8a)

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

So, the question then arises, when we hear all these couples say "I love you" what's really being said? The answer, I believe, is "I need you to need me." And, there should be no shame or guilt or embarrassment in needing. Everybody needs others. No one likes being alone. We can deteriorate mentally and emotionally when alone in much the same way the body withers away without food. We need companionship, friendship, partners, colleagues and acquaintances. We need to belong, to be part of and contained within something larger than our individual self. We often mistakenly think that by hearing someone say to us "I love you" that all our needs for belonging and connectedness are met. They are not. This can become evident after several years of a relationship or a marriage when one or both parties find themselves needing more than the relationship can offer. Then, thinking another relationship will provide the satisfaction sought, we find ourselves entering another relationship only to find several years down the road that this new relationship by itself too does not satisfy the belonging needs. 

If in fact we need to be loved, that need will be satisfied through belonging. We can belong to, and participate in, a family, a company, a community, a society and even global endeavors. By belonging and participating we will grow to feel loved by others (in the brotherly love sense of the word) and the need to be loved will be satisfied. If in fact we love to be needed, then we can have what we love through the very same activities as those that satisfied our need to be loved. For by participating in family, community, professional, social and global endeavors, we become a needed part of the larger whole. Participation in activities larger than our individual self satisfies our need to be needed by others. 

The answer to the question that is the title of this article is both. We need both to be loved and we love to be needed - we need to be needed. Being needed makes us feel that we belong. Belonging makes us feel loved. We can achieve both by the single path of participation in something larger than our individual self. Whether it's family, work, community volunteer work, social activism or a little bit of each, we can find our need to be loved and our love to be needed satisfied. From that satisfaction, we can begin to love others. We can even share that satisfaction with a significant other making our primary relationship based on belonging needs that are already at least in part satisfied rather than placing the entire burden of that satisfaction on the relationship itself. This kind of primary relationship can last a very long time and does contribute to happiness.

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Gooooosefraba

Goosefraba.. What does it mean?

It is a soothing sound Eskimo mothers would whisper in order to sooth their young ones.

Have you seen the movie "Anger Management" with Jack Nickelson and Adam Sandler? There's a part there where one in the anger management class speaks the word "goose fra-ba" over and over (kind of like a zen thing) to bring him back down and calm his nerves. Well I've been doing my own version of goose fraba-ing.

So, when things go wrong as they sometimes will, when you're upset, depressed, when you figured in an untimely and unanticipated breakup, or simply feeling fear, anxiety, despair, guilt, apathy, grief, or what many people would describe as typical "sadness" or other negative emotions, try to relax, close your eyes, take a deep deep breath and while you slowly exhale, say "GOOOOOOOOOSE FRABA" Do this at least five times and feel differently.

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kuyanin

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How to Find Time for Yourself

However sociable you may be, there will come a point in time where you need to be alone. Do you ever find yourself longing for some time for yourself? Most of us are so busy either with work, school, and home life that often, there is no time left to do something that you enjoy. If you’re a hard-working employee or a diligent student, full-time parent and spouse, making time for yourself is tough. Nonetheless, you may find the following ways, to carve out that essential time you need to slow down, enjoy life, and rejuvenate yourself, germane and applicable.

Planning Time with Yourself

1. Evenings (days) with Yourself. Try to save certain weeknights just for you. If others ask you to do things those nights, just tell them you have plans. I, together with mom and siblings, stay in a humble abode somewhere in Makati. But aside from this, I have a separate apartment in Quezon City where i settle in during office days or when im in dire need of spending couple of days alone. Use the time for gardening, reading, exercise, thinking, or the ultimate luxury of doing nothing haha with everything you need for the day is within your reach like sandwiches, drinks, junk foods, remote controls, cellphones, PSP, pocketbooks.

2. Monthly Treat. Schedule a treat for yourself once a month at least. It could be on your lunch break, a weekend, or it could be leaving work early. Maybe you get a spa treatment, body massage, go see a movie (this i don’t fail doing), a haircut and hair relaxation, play golf (indoor with your Wii lol), facial treatment, diamond peel, get your nails done,  or whatever treat you’re always thinking about but rarely get to. Schedule it in and it will happen!

3. Buy Tickets in Advance (If you are into Sports like me), theatre play, concerts, or any other event you would enjoy. Schedule the plans with a friend later. Having the tickets already in hand will force you to make it happen! Like one time, i went to the Mall of Asia as i had nothing to do for the rest of the day after the morning worship service. I headed first to the coffee shop (this is the routine that i am accustomed to), while thinking of what activity i would do next. Seeing a movie was the idea that crossed my mind so, with my cup still half-empty, i proceeded to the movie ticketing booth and purchased one. The movie was set to be shown after an hour and a half so i still had ample time to take a mile walk at the Bayside - the customary romantic tryst for lovers (usually illicit hahaha). Later a friend phoned in asking me out for a drink. Logically, i declined as i had already purchased a movie ticket. My friend could have ruined the time devoted for myself were it not for the ticket that i bought in advance.

4. Leave Work on Time. Huh? Normally, i get in the office late. About an hour late LOL. But i leave the office usually at 6:00pm to compensate for the time i came in late. But generally, many of us stay at work late on a regular basis. If this is also you, make it a point to leave work exactly on time at least once a week and then enjoy that time! Leave work at work. Don’t bring paperwork at home.

5. Join a Group. Here are some ideas of groups that can allow you some time away from work and home: singing group, body builders group, motorists association (not TODA haha), gardening group, deviant artists, bookworm clubs, quilting (or any other craft) circle, biking/walking/running clubs, ice skating club, etc. What are you interested in? Strike while the iron is hot. Look up a club in your area today and join! If you can’t find a club, consider starting one yourself.

6. Take an Adult Education Class. Ooops i didn’t mean sex education. Take a fun class. If crafting is fun for you, then go ahead – call TESDA for free seminars. If not, then think about some of these ideas: foreign language, photography (not pornography), art, creative writing, or sports (archery, golf, yoga). A good friend preppie, tried belly-dancing and she’s now very good at it.

7. Exercise. For busy people, it can be difficult to make time for this. But, you know what? You can do it!! All you have to do is decide today and then make it a reality early tomorrow. A new habit is started with just one step. Take that first step tomorrow. Walk for 20 minutes in the morning. And then build on that success daily. Vary how you spend that time. On some days use the time for thinking and daydreaming LOL. Other days listen to motivational audio and on that days that you want a real boost, listen to your favorite music! If you've been exercising for a while and you usually listen to music, try go without any input for a change. Instead, let your mind wander and expand. Not long ago, i used to run every morning in UP Diliman campus. My work starts at 9am so i wake up at dawn then go jogging. Try jogging too. There, you will meet health conscious people and possibly make new friends like i did. TIP: stuff your pocket with pain reliever oil or ointment. When, along the way, you meet a sprinter with sprained leg or ankle, offer help. Surely, s/he’ll become your friend and you will never trek the UP Campus alone anymore hahaha. On succeeding mornings, you bring a blanket and a couple of sandwiches so when you and your newly found friend get tired, change course and have a picnic in the sunken garden. Good luck!

 On the Go

 1. Commute Via Public Transportation. If you can, ditch your car, and let someone else do the driving (with or without driver’s license so long as you have petty cash to bribe the traffic enforcer when you get caught haha). Use that time to plan your day, do some reading, writing, creative thinking, or even meditation especially when you encounter a traffic mishap. Or get your old nokia phone and play snake haha. Jot down your high score on your diary.  In my case, i take the Light Rail Transit (LRT) on my way going home. It’s practically more convenient than driving a car considering the price of fuel nowadays and the heavy traffic in metro Manila thoroughfares. Traffic jams in Quezon Avenue to Taft Avenue alone usually take hours to disentangle whereas if you take train (LRT) from Monumento to La Salle, the travel time will be stripped to closely 30 mins not to mention the measly cost of the ticket which is only P15.00.

 2. Driving in Your Car. Make the most of this time. Vary how you spend that time. If you always listen to music, perhaps also try: educational radio stations, positive audio tapes (suggestion: “Follow Your Heart” by Andrew Matthews), provocative audio CDs like the ones being distributed by militant groups haha or even totally quiet time. Use that quiet time for brain storming but pay attention to the road. Either think in your head (avoid doing forty winks, for God’s sake you’re driving) or even talk your ideas out loud but be sure to close the windows as the other motorists may think you’re crazy talking to yourself. Bring a voice recorder. You could write a book or draft a good blog entry via voice recorder over time. Or you can practice perfect delivery of your self-authored and unique pick up lines hehehe.

 3. Waiting in the Car or Waiting for a ride. If you find that you have a certain amount of “waiting time” in your life, change how you perceive it. Instead of “waiting time” you can instantly change it into “me time” by bringing along reading, writing, or entertainment items. Or if you find yourself waiting and you don’t have any of these things use the time for creative thinking about your life or try some meditation. Try learning the sun dance as demonstrated by Sarah Geronimo in her recent movie “A very Special Love”. Yes, i watched that movie but i swear somebody (a die-hard fan of Sarah and the leading man) twisted my arm and coerced me to see the movie… with her. i took a nap while the film was playing and when i came back to senses, voila! i saw sarah doing the sundance haha.

 Synergy

1. Two Birds, One Stone. Look for ideas where you can fit in time for you within things you need to do already or that will have multiple benefits. 
2. Walk to Work. This is a great one because you’re accomplishing many things at once. You’re getting exercise, you have time to think or enjoy music/audio, and you’re helping to save the environment. You may also be lucky to find dropped coins or valuable stuff along the way.

3. Arrive Early. Any appointment that you have, plan to arrive 15-30 minutes early. Then use this time for you: reading, writing, meditation, relaxation, thinking, chiq hunting, organizing your phonebook (i delete inexistent numbers), whatever.

4. Volunteering. There are so many benefits from this. You make a difference for others, you escape work and personal worries, and you grow as a person. If you could help one organization or group, which would it be? OK, now go ahead and Google them and find out how you can help - even if it’s just once a year.

5. Side Job. Find a side job at which you can make money, but that will also allow you to do something you love. Some ideas: coaching, teaching a class (art, writing, sport, hobby, anything else you know well), or training others (what special skills do you have that you could share with others? singing, windsurfing, math?)

6. Lunch Alone. Try sneaking away for a quiet lunch alone on a park bench or even in your car. Enjoy some quiet time with no one to talk to and no audio inputs.

Time Away from Kids

1. Organize “Mom’s Morning Out” Circle. If you have a friend or group of friends, you could arrange to share babysitting services a few times a month so that others in the group get some time alone.

2. Babysitters. Make a plan to have a babysitter that you trust watch your children once a month or once a week so that you can get some time for yourself. The key here is to take action and make it happen. If you want more time for yourself, you can get it. Just don’t be afraid to ask. You may either ask your sister or a relative to keep an eye on your children while you go strolling, shopping, or other activities which you miss doing in a considerable period.

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kuyanin

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